Not Quite an Ending
by Settiai
Summary: If Thane wanted to push her away, he was going to have to try a lot harder than that. She'd never been the type to let someone else make decisions about her life just because they wanted to protect her. [Coraline Shepard: Colonist, Ruthless, Sentinel]


"I think of us often, siha, but we always knew it would come to an end."

Shepard narrowed her eyes, her gaze focusing in on Thane's face. She knew a break-up line when she heard one. Judging by his rather enthusiastic return of her kiss earlier, it wasn't because his feelings for her had changed over the past six months. Which left exactly one option: he was trying to protect her.

_Oh. Hell. No._

Shepard look him straight in the eye, keeping her face as expressionless as she possibly could. "No," she said simply.

Thane blinked, a confused look appearing on his face. "What?"

"I said 'no'," she repeated. "This involves both of us, not just you. You don't get to just decide that it's over, without me even saying a word."

Thane's mouth twitched, slowly twisting into a tired half-smile. "You deserve someone at your side who can be there for you until the end," he said.

"I deserve a lot of things," Shepard shot back, and even she heard the bitterness in her voice. "The universe has always seemed to have other plans for me, and you damn well know it."

He paused for a moment at that, studying her face. Then he sighed.

"Siha," Thane said, reaching out to rest his hands on her shoulders. "I'm trying to protect you. Will you not give me this?"

"My parents died trying to protect me on Mindoir," Shepard shot back, letting a bit more anger than she'd intended slip into her voice. "My best friend died trying to protect me on Torfan. Kaidan Alenko died trying to protect me on Virmire, because he apparently thought that I'd feel so fucking better about leaving him to die if he took the choice out of my hands."

Shepard shoved his hands off of her, feeling inordinately guilty when she saw him trying to hide a flinch. She wasn't entirely certain if it was because he'd realized how close to home her words were hitting or because of her shove, but if it was the latter…

Shepard shoved that guilty feeling down and glared at him. "Guess what?" she asked, making it as clear as she could from her tone that it was a rhetorical question. "It didn't work. Why? Because I'm not a goddamned damsel in distress who needs someone to make a decision about _my life_ for me."

The expression that had appeared on Thane's face was completely unreadable to her. "Siha—"

"Don't," she said sharply. "Don't you dare try to—"

She cut off abruptly when he reached out and ran a finger under her eyes, brushing away tears that she hadn't even noticed were there. When had she started crying? Commander Shepard didn't cry.

Thane leaned closer to her, shifting his position slightly. He was trying to hide her somewhat from view, she realized, trying to make the complete fucking breakdown she was apparently having a little less public.

"I want what's best for you, siha," Thane said quietly.

She tried to give him a smile, just a weak one, but she didn't think it quite worked judging by his reaction. "You're what's best for me, Thane."

That damn unreadable look was still on his face.

"You told me once that I was your second chance, a reason for your heart to come back to life," Shepard said. "Well, you were my second chance too. I'm not ready to lose you."

"You are going to lose me, Shepard," Thane said, and his voice was so gentle that she half-wanted to punch him on principle.

Shepard shot him what she hoped was a dirty look. "Eventually," she admitted, "but I'm not ready to do it _today_."

Thane brushed his fingers over her cheek again.

"I know you're dying, Thane," she said, reaching up to rest her hand on top of his. "Believe me, I'm well aware of it. And you can call me selfish, but I damn well intend to keep you until that time gets here."

Thane sighed, and just like that she knew that she'd won. "I cannot come with you on the _Normandy, _Shepard."

Shepard snorted. "Believe it or not, I did listen when you told me that earlier," she said. "And I get it. But that doesn't mean anything. You don't have to be on the damn ship with me to _be_ with me."

His mouth twitched, just a little.

"If you can't come with me on the _Normandy_, then you'd stay here," Shepard continued, as if she hadn't noticed. "I'll send you messages, and I'll visit when I can." She paused for a second, long enough to shoot him a warning look. "And if you even think about trying to push me away for my own good again, I'm going to—"

"I can imagine," Thane broke in, cutting her off before she could give him the very impressive threat that she'd just come up with.

She squeezed his hand. "Good."

The two of them sat there for a moment or two in silence, neither of them saying a word. Shepard could hear the occasional catch in Thane's breathing, a sign of his illness that was impossible to ignore, but she did her best to keep anything from showing on her face.

"Your scars are gone," Thane said quietly, brushing a hand over the unbroken skin of her cheek.

She ducked her head. "We both know that they'll come back eventually," she replied just as a softly. "They always do."

Thane studied her face for a moment, tilting his head a little to the side. "You do not seem quite yourself without them."

Shepard felt the corners of her mouth rise, just a bit.

"Come on," she said suddenly, holding out her hand to him. "You said that you have quarters here at the hospital, right?"

Thane shot her an amused look as he took her hand, letting her pull both of them to their feet. "Yes, I do," he replied. "I would be glad to show them to you, but I will warn you again that I doubt I am up for any strenuous activity right now."

Shepard couldn't help it. She laughed. "I didn't say a damn thing about strenuous activity, Thane Krios," she said teasingly. "Careful or someone might think that you have a dirty mind."

Drell didn't blush, not like humans did, but they had other tells for embarrassment. And he was projecting every single of one of them that she knew about.

Shepard pressed a kiss against his cheek, risk of mild hallucinatory properties be damned. "I love you," she murmured quietly as she pulled away.

"And I you, siha," Thane replied gently.


End file.
